The Vicious Cycle (Poem)

By John Tan 

It’s 3 am in the morning

And as usual, I am stuck in this vicious cycle

Where my mind wanders like a free spirit

While my body aches like an old man’s back

As it’s in desperate need of rest

But I can’t sleep nor can I dream

Cause every move I make isn’t comforting

And every noise around my being annoys the hell out of me

As I can hear my alarm clock ticking,

The crickets chirping,

The fan whirring

While forming a creaky lullaby that isn’t working

Thus, I am wide awake at 3 am in the morning

Alone with my thoughts

Reflecting upon the things that happened

And worrying about the things that are yet to happen

And how it could go wrong in a million ways

While everyone else is fast asleep like a baby who was tucked in by its parents

By right, I should be in my La La Land at this hour

Wandering around it like an innocent child

But unfortunately, I am trapped in this unending cycle

There’s no escape for me

Why am I curse with this vicious cycle?

What did I do to deserve this?

I want to be able to sleep like a baby every night

I want my mind to be clear as the ocean every night

Well, maybe if I count to ten

And take a deep breath

Or say a prayer

Maybe then I will be able to fall asleep

Maybe then this vicious cycle will finally end

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